My dad passed away this March, my whole family were sad about this.
My mom was the saddest because she loved him so much. She couldn’t help crying during his funeral even the entire week. My sister, who gave her heart completely to my dad, kept saying “Thank you, daddy.” when my dad’s breathless body was carried to home from the hospital.
I was heartbreaking.
My dad and I didn’t get along well when I was a kid. I hated him because he was a chauvinist. He said terrible words to my mom and beat her. I couldn’t stand it so I chose not to speak to him, but I loved him before. He was a great man in my heart, and I just didn’t know why he did that or say that to make family worse. I was angry with him, I think he was someone I’ll never love again because he hurt people he should love. Even I know he has loved me since the day I was born, but I still couldn’t understand and I ignored my love to him for many many years.
After my dad lost his left foot because of the diabetes, he changed. He wasn’t happy at all. I think the main reason is he thought he had nothing. He didn’t speak much and shut down his feelings. My mom is a traditional woman, that’s why she didn’t leave him even he abused her. She took care of him and felt guilty all the time. And my brothers and I, except my older sister, still acted the same. We ignored how we felt and we were afraid of him, just like our childhood.
But in the end, people have to face the truth.
October last year, I broke the ice with my dad. Not only just said I love him, but also I forgave him. It was a difficult thing for me, and my heart felt weird during the time because I haven’t done it for a long time. He cried out right away, and we hugged each other with love and understanding. I’m really glad I did this before he left me.
We didn’t have much time since the ice was broken. He became very sick. This Chinese New Year is the last one we had him in our family reunion.
He forgot a lot of things in the hospital, and he was so weak like he was ready to leave any minute, watching him like that was a torture for us. I told him I love him and thank you everyday. I was so afraid that he will remember me as the small child who didn’t get close to him. I don’t want any regret no more. And one day, in the midnight, my sister called, and she said daddy died……
Hey, dad.
All I wanna say is you’re the best man in my life.
I know, you see our tears come out sometimes, but that’s because we love you so much.
We miss you, and you must feel that.
Your chauvinism wasn’t cool, but I don’t blame you because I know it was just your image.
I can see what really inside you now.
You have a wonderful, warm, lovely, faithful, beautiful & pure heart.
I think I have some of these :)
Because they all say I’m just like you
Daddy, I love you, always I do.
